so here i am.
doing online tarot readings about my relationship. getting bad results, then freaking out about it and sending it to my significant other.
and then calling and apologizing.
and explaining.

now i know that i'm a leo, and he's a pisces. meaning i'm a fire sign and he's a water sign.

i know i get firey sometimes and that it exhausts him. like tonight i called him back, it's only 1 am and he wants to go to sleep. this may or may not have to do with what i did earlier.

but i know that thoughts create reality and i should definitely stop worrying about problems that may happen.
that is what my dad does and i don't want to be my dad.

so.
in point.

i realized that whenever i am less selfish and more concerned about others. and pay less attention to the distressing thoughts in my head that i tend to do better and things flow better overall.

it may be that my relationship with nik has been hurting, because i've been holding back. i haven't been jumping on him because i'm afraid of disturbing him? i haven't been sharing anything but worries with him. i've been spending more and more time worrying.

negativity is a disease and it must be stopped at the heart.

you need to stop thinking that everything has to be a certain way for anything to work. that is not the way life works. remember that, you went through some pretty hard times and things still worked out for you. so
stop burdening your relationships with worries and being a perfectionist.

there is no way to be or not to be.
just go with the flow in life.
remember the heron.
worries flow off his back like water.
whenever you start to worry about something stop take a breath and decide to forget it.

decide now.
everything is perfectly fine with my relationship.
nik is very happy with me.
i have nothing to worry about.
i am whole, i am happy, i am well.
i learn from my past, and i am wise with my future
i let troubles flow past me like a river
i can let things be, and everything will be fine
i am at peace, here, now all is well

also, i am very happy with my body
my new diet is working out marvellously
and i am feeling much fitter and my figure is amazing!

i will continue in this string of positivity
negativity has no place in my life.